Outwit: Island
by The Normal Twit
Summary: 22 teenagers around Canada signed up for a chance of a life time, each have different expectations for what camp life will be like. One by one all will go down, except one and that person will be the winner of Outwit: Island. Xx-A Reimagining Of TDI-xX.
1. Not So Happy Campers P1

**Outlast: Island**

Myriad= Many

Loquacious= Talkative

Bewildered= Confused + Angry

* * *

 **1.1 Not So Happy Campers Pt. 1**

"Yo! We're coming at you live from Camp Wawanakwa, somewhere in Muskoka, Ontario. I'm your host, Chris McLean! Dropping season one of the hottest new reality show on television, right here, right now!" Chris announced as he walked down the dock.

"Here's the deal: twenty-two campers have signed up to spend two and a half months of their summer right here at this crusty, crummy old summer camp. They'll compete in challenges against each other, then will have to face the judgement of their fellow campers. Every three days, one team will either win a reward, win nothing, or watch one of their team members walk down the Dock of Shame, take a ride on the Boat of Losers," Chris chuckled. "And leave Outwit: Island, for good."

"Their fate will be decided here," Chris chimed as he moved to a clearing with several tree stumps and a sign. "At the dramatic campfire ceremonies, where every three days, all but one camper will receive…"

Chris paused to grab a twig and take a bite of the marshmallow that it impaled. "A marshmallow. In the end, only two will be left standing to battle it out to win." Chris tossed the twig behind him, and continued by appearing back at the dock. "Their reward for victory will be cheesy tabloid fame, and a small fortune of one hundred thousand dollars, which let's face it, they'll probably blow in a week. Maybe less."

"To survive, they'll have to battle black flies, grizzly bears, disgusting camp food, and… each other. Every moment will be caught by one of the hundreds of cameras situated all over the camp, which will catch every last second of their wacky shenanigans and fights."

The camera finally returned to the Dock of Shame where Chris stood, grinning a smile with his pearly white teeth. "Who will crumble under the pressure? Who will win? Who will be the first one picked off? Find out here, right now, on: OUTWIT: ISLAND!"

—

Dear Mom and Dad I'm doin' fine,

You guys are on my mind.

You asked me what I wanted to be

And now I think the answer is plain to see,

I wanna be… famous!

I wanna live close to the sun,

Go pack your bags, 'cause I've already won,

Everything to prove, nothing in my way

I'll get there one day.

Cause I wanna be… famous!

Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na!

I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous!

I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous!

*whistling*

—

"Welcome back to Outwit: Island! Alright, now it's time to meet our first thirteen campers. We told them they'd all be staying at a five-star resort," the host mentioned. "So if they seem a little PO'd, that's probably why. Anyways, with that out in the open, it's time to meet our first camper: Mina!"

 **Mina, the Hipster Follower** walked onto the dock until she met face-to-face with Chris and put her hand out "You must be Chris, you rocked on that Ice-Skating show." She complimented.

"Thanks, I know." Chris replied with a prideful expression on his face. "If you could, stand over there," Chris pointed to the end of the dock "After the rest of the cast is introduced, you will get to your cabin and get unpacked."

Mina beamed "Sounds good to me!" she grabbed her belongings and walked to the end of the dock.

"Our next contestant, has a diplomat for a dad and can charm every living creature on the face of the earth…" Chris paused for climax, "Jose Burromuerto!".

 **Jose, the Charming Schemer** with a tall, muscular figure walked down the dock "Hola, Jose is fine." The teen smiled, actually not paying attention to Chris and actually staring at the camera. "Gotcha." Chris responded with a slightly sarcastic tone.

Jose continued down the dock, where Mina waved "Hi, I'm Mina." She held out her hand but Jose denied it.

"Sorry, I would shake your hand but I don't have disinfectant, no offense, but I don't know where your hand has been and I don't want to take any chances." prompting Mina to raise her eyebrow and let out a glare.

The boat whizzed by as the next camper set foot on the dock. The teen looked around and grumbled "...Meh." He went past Chris without being properly introduced, Chris scratched his head.

"Uh, dude, I kind of have to introduce you?"

The teen fast backwarded back by the host and seethed

" _Fine._ " He muttered.

"Well, this bad mannered dude is Aaron. You can stand over _there._ " He pointed to the end of the dock.

 **Aaron, the Cynical Jerk** walked down with a snappish aura, causing Jose and Mina to just back away and not try to provoke him. Chris smirked at Aaron before looking back at the camera "Our next camper, a physical prodigy, a competitive queen-"

"Please say more." The teen walked down "I assume you know who I am?" Chris nodded "Of course, You're Hallie."

 **Hallie, the Brash Jock** smirked and walked down the dock. "Wow, you like sports? That is crazy! I love sports too." Mina chimed in.

Hallie simpered, "Yeah, _okay_."

Jose cut in to the conversation "Wow, a professional athlete? I am impressed senorita." He grinned, but once again Hallie turned it down.

"Yeah, I _know_. Anyone who is NOT impressed with me is either not born, has no brain, or is a loser." She spat cockily.

Aaron rolled his eyes, "Great, great, we all know 'Miss Canada' can we get on please?"

Chris nodded "Next contestant is-"

A pale teen walked off the boat and spoke softly " _Wow_ this place is so _cool_ " she inhaled before exhaling making the rest of the campers and the host to look at her oddly "Oh… where are my manners? My name is Molly."

 **Molly, the Creepy Clairvoyant** walked down the dock, almost sluggish like before bending down to grab a rock and continuing her way to the end of the dock.

Chris shuddered before continuing his reality show "Let's welcome our next competitor, Crystal!" he announced however after that there was a silence "Uh, Crystal?"

 **Crystal, the Overdramatic** screamed "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" she continued with the same volume "I CAN NOT BELIEVE THIS!" Some of the campers plugged their ears. "I WAS CHOSEN FOR OUTWIT: ISLAND EEEEEEEE!"

Aaron seethed, "Please, _shut up_ and _get over it_ ".

Crystal was flabbergasted "Why are you being so mean to ME? I didn't do anything!" Tears ran down her face "You are so rude!" she sniffed before storming down the dock.

Two girls almost identical, except one had blue hair the other one had red walked off the boat. Chris greeted the twins "Hello girls." he shook the girl with the blue hair "You must be Nightshade and…" he spoke to the other "You must be Dementia." The girls nodded.

 **Nightshade, the Outgoing Grim** exclaimed, "We are so happy to be here! And we're ready to win this!" Nightshade's loquaciousness was shut abruptly, as Chris' hands gesticulated that she should seize this. "Oh, sorry!" The camera panned to Dementia, whos face remained deroid of emotions.

"Hi. Let us see, this low budget reality show can really offer us so much money?" **Dementia, The Deadpan Snark** 's eyes rolled themselves, as the twins both made there way down the dock. While Nightshade flauntered with a smile plastered on her face, Dementia's slowness and exterior prominently frowning easily showed discrepancies.

"Why are you guys so different?" Hallie's query faced ignorance, Dementia took a place next to Mina, her hand was extended but no contact between the two was made and Mina's hand withdrew from its position. "Well, uhm, you CAN'T just ignore me! But you're weird, so allowed."

Dementia birthed out a breathy huff enlongated further to provide a source of annoyance for Hallie, her face consequently formed into a glare. "Uhm," Mina broke the defeaning silence, "So, Dementia? What an interesting name choice, but uhm, why are you so-" Mina's sentence faced an interruption.

"Dementia doesn't usually speak, so its best to leave her be! But you know, I have enough pep and determination for the both of us, right...sis?" A nudge was thrown Dementias way and a feeble nod echoed out of her but this did not deter Nightshade's massive happiness or the grin she sported.

"Our, next contestant is distinctively well known, famous, and is described as a hottie," Everyone's face lit up, minor exceptions to this were Jose, Aaron and Dementia. "In the pizza business," This reverted them into bewildered territory, "Zach!" **Zach, The Pizza Delivery Guy** made his journey towards Chris.

"Ew, is that tacky pizza smell coming from off of him?", Gagged Crystal as she held her nose in disgust.

"What a myriad of interesting contestants." This prompted Chris' confusion to reveal itself. "Hey, uhm, I am Zach, amiable and ready to tell some interesting stories about MY pizza deliveries. I uhm, think that is just it."

"A pizza guy?" Aaron's distaste could be conveyed through his lack of happiness shown with his eyebrow arched and his glowering. "What? Did you find him on the street or something?" This provoked a few laughs, the expense of Zach suffered.

"It is a very respectable business!" Zach's assurance only hindered his chance of decreasing the laughs. "Whatever, I'll show you that my job doesn't have anything to do with my personality."

Molly's eyes enclosed briefly, her hands zooming around, forcing people to shuffle away. The eyes reopened. "I see...you being synonmyous with the pizza smell." Zach's grumbling had surfaced as he strode to the end of the dock. "It does indeed get stronger." Zach crossed his arms at this revelation.

"Make way fo the fashizzle prize winner!" A highly unattractive male walzted onto the dock. "Honey!" His attempts to flirt were stopped as Hallie stormed away from him. "Whatevs. All the ladies fall for the Bert master! Don't cry at my hotness, and dudes...don't blame me fo my butters look." **Bert, The Loser Gangsta** 's egohit the roof, visibly uncomfortable Chris had attained his composure.

"And, that...ladies and gentlemen...was Bert." His excitement and charisma were clearly drained of all life. "Our 11th contestant is Felix!" With shades as black as ebony and a stocky stature, Felix walked onto the dock, acknowleging Chris with a mere nod which said all required.

"Sup, I am Felix." Felix was shaking slightly and slowly, "I am a cool cat, as one would say. So much that I am shaking of it. Mmm, Chris? Ain't you gonna introduce the next contestant. Instantaneously, the camera shifted from **Felix, The Paranoid Cool Cat** and focused on Chris.

"Well, then..." Chris coughed slightly, "Our next contestant, Candice has arrived!" A slender girl with long, locks of blonde hair had a childlike sheen in her eye. She walked past Chris, endorsing the attention.

"She is a hotter than a steak on rye." Bert vocalized.

"I prefer Candi, and I prefer not to be hit on by someone who is wearing clothes which were never in style. So, hipster." **Candi, The Childlike Sweetheart** had caused everyone to silence. "Mmmhmm, so when are we getting introduced to our cabins, I am gonna scrible my name down and mark my bunk, you know? Maybe with some drawings!"

"Uhm, okay." Aaron sighed, "Childish rituals? What are you again, 8 in disguise? Honey, on this show not everyone is going to be oogle over you. You are not going to get far with that fashion talk."

"OH MA GAWSH!" Crystal let out a bloodcurdling screech, "It's a spider! Ew! Kill it! Kill it!"

Molly smirked. "It's future shall be death by Demen-" Dementia had already stepped on the spider, albeit unintentionally. "Also, meet Lillie making her entrance now." Chris looked flabbergasted, aghast at the correct timing.

Lillie yawned, "Yeah, that's my name. Freakily you knew that though. So am I meant to say something about myself, well...I am a tomboy. Ignore the top." Lillie was mainly referring to the white top which had a heart in the middle, she then glanced down, "And uhm, the outfit." **Lillie, The Badass Punk** blushed upon seeing the skirt was pink.

"But pink is so IN this season!" Candi cried, an approving Mina was seen nodding eagerly behind her, Candi did not notice Mina's doe-eyed expression.

"Pink is the cheese this season, it is cray cray." Bert told Candi, only to be swatted in the face at his attempts. "I guess chirping the ladies isn't for me." No one bothered to point out his mistake.

"Uhm...I think someone said Clay? That's me..." A boy with a cowboy hat and blonde hair made his way onto the dock. "I play nice an' not dirty, I don't see the point in that." Clay chuckled, "Also the names Clayton, but you can call me Clay, and, woah-" **Clayton, The Golden Boy's** eyes set on Jose, "Someone may be more perfect than-"

Jose smirked, "Dios mio! You thought you were perfect?" Jose resisted the urge to guffaw. "Oh, what hath the world come too?" Jose smirked, as he turned to Candi, who's blush was met with sweat. "Ew." Jose cringed.

"Uhm. Hey everyone!" Jett strode onto the dock, needless of an introduction. "I am Jett!" Chris mimicked Jett's voice annoyed he was stripped of yet another introduction. Jett stood by Lillie.

"Hey, sup?" Lillie asked.

"Nothing, best friend." Jett replied.

Lillie arched her eyebrow. "What?"

"Nothing, friend? Is what I said..." **Jett** , **The Best Friend** lied.

"Oh, sure you said that I would totally mishear you convieniently, wouldn't I?" She rolled her eyes, Jett situated himself further away from Lillie as a result. Aaron's smirk was formed, as he edged closer to Lillie. "Ugh..." Lillie gave a sigh upon seeing this futile attempt to converse with her.

"Likin' that spunk." Aaron commented.

"It's called sarcasm." Lillie replied.

"No, really?" Aaron's feigned suprise failed to raise a chuckle out of Lillie.

"While the two flirters over there get to know each-other, our next contestant is...Nancy!" Chris' introduction had not achieved correct timing as nobody could be seen on camera. "Nancy!" He repeated, with more gumption.

Nancy styled her brown hair, as she strode out. "Uhm," She walked past her contestants, "You guys must be the others. Move, now, please." She gave a light shove, and slowly walked past Candi. "Clearly, doesn't understand the meaning of MOVE. Vapid, I suppose." She muttered.

"Uhm, what?!" Candi looked crestfallen at the assumption, striking on impulse, she shoved Nancy into the water. "That's what you get, maybe you should be nicer." Nancy got up, soaked and drenched.

"Ugh! Now how am I going too-will I-No!" Nancy growled as she got out of the water, glaring daggers at Candi, who blew a raspberry. Nancy scoffed. "Childlike, much? See, SOMEONE will never win the million." **Nancy, The Try Hard** then looked to the camera, "Now, I am certainly not rude, you know? Just...well prepared." This sparked numerous different reactions.

"Uptight, more like." Bert's contribution was the loudest. Nancy was ready to rebut the claim, but the camera panned back to Chris. His laughter could not be contained, he glanced at the camera.

"Priceless?" And with that, he flashed his signature grin. The screen gradually faded to black, signalling an ad break.

"And we're back, with another contestant at bay! Meet...Roberto!" The self proclaimed Roberto walked onto the dock, "Ew, why is he wearing white? Why are so many people wearing white? That green one makes little difference to his shirt." Candy observed, cringing. "And those...unique colored jeans that resemble the normal blue are-"

"I think I get it." **Roberto, The Tooth Pick** clarified before he walked to the end of the dock, not talking to anyone else.

"Hi, hi!" A tall, blonde haired walked out, "I am-!"

"Victor!" Chris only just managed to introduce Victor.

"Uhm so-" **Victor** , **The Casual Hippie** 's attire consisted of a green shirt, and well presented jeans.

"Are we sure this guy is a teen?" Chris query was silenced as soon as the camera darted back to him. "Victor, go other there, we're short on time. So, our next contestant is...Edwin!"

Edwin hopped onto the dock, his fellow contestants surveying him, from his lean figure, his ginger hair, even his glasses. "So, hi. I am Edwin." Edwin's talking was stopped, as did his walking when he tripped and slammed his head onto the dock. **Edwin, The Unlucky Goof** slowly walked to the end of the dock, a limp evident. No one commented on these events.

"Okay, can we get started already? I don't have time to stand around gawking." The next arrival gingerly strode in a fast manner towards the edge of the dock, quickly pushing up her glasses. Her ginger hair stopped at her shoulders, "Eugh. My skirt." The female cringed upon looking down at her short skirt being splattered with mud prior.

"What's your name?" Edwin asked, curious. "You know, you kind of look like my sister." The female looked disgusted at Edwin for making the connection and Edwin bowed his head in shame.

"My name is Darcy, I am in no way related to you and so do not suggest as if I am, please." Darcy then smiled at Edwin, "Okay?" **Darcy, The Strict Russian** didn't wait for his answer, "Good."

"Saun Hee is here! Let's have all the fashionistah's say hey." The self proclaimed Saun-Hee stepped onto the dock, "Ew. These are not the conditions for my clothes, but whatever." An expectant Mina was in her way.

"You like fashion as well?" Mina grinned, "Nice white top! And jeans!" Saun Hee rolled her eyes.

"Did you have to get some wannabe cool person on this trashy and cheap reality show?" Saun Hee rested on Mina and accidently made her stumble, Saun Hee paid no attention to this and walked down the dock.

"Hey my-"

Saun Hee gave a loud groan, "This," She pointed to Bert, "Uhm, he looks about 11, and he acts like he is in with the popular people. Honey, you don't just have to be in with the latest slang, try having an actual personality. Rude and hurtful? Well you are rude and hurtful to my ears. Thank you." **Saun Hee, The Opinionated One** , then yawned and seized Berts comeback attempt with a rolling of the eyes.

"Our last contestants, famous in France, J.P!" J.P walked onto the dock, color coordinated, with a red cap, a red theme going through his pale yellow shirt and similar coloured shoes.

J.P clutched a lot of junk food, fries which he scooped down, causing everyone to else to clamour.

"Why is HE allowed junk-food?!"

"Famous people should not get more rights!"

"Yo, my fillaw dawgy, pass the friz!"

Chris sighed, "Oh, dear. Looks like someone breached the security!" Chris' smirk only further caused a bunch of angry onslaughts. Chris then snatched the food out JP's hands, but he persisted and grabbed it back, gripping on it tightly. "J.P." Chris groaned, "No junk food!" His attempts were clearly futile. "Security!" Chris cried, snapping his hands.

Two men of a stocky build grabbed the junk food and strode off of camera. JP attempted to run, but Chris diverted this attempt and J.P strode down the dock. "My name...is...J.P..." He hesitated, clearly slightly unsure.

"Interestingly, J.P's accent is a put on, it has been altered slightly from his usual voice and as a result rarely any people know what his voice sounds like." Chris gave a light chuckle. "And he can understand English rather well, just...has trouble speaking it." J.P glared at Chris and crossed his arms, "Now that we've met, **J.P, The Humble Disk Jockey** it is time to-is he okay?"

The camera panned to J.P to show that his hunger for junk food was still habouring and lingering inside his stomach as he rubbed it comfortingly, earning a few looks which J.P disposed of when he ignored them.

"Anyway, please stand together. For a promo picture!" Chris hopped on the boat, and got out his camera. He snapped a picture as everyone was bickering, "Oh. Whoops." Everyone was in position. "Ready? Say Outwit: Island!"

"Outlwit: Island!"

Chris snapped a picture, "Oops. My thumb was in the w-" He let out a scream, as the boat drove off and Chris fell off, slamming his chin on the edge of the dock, before falling in the water, splashing numerous people. "C-call...C-Chef..." Chris told them, dazed. "Dry off and meet off at the campfire pit..."

* * *

Everyone sat on the campfire stools, Chef stood, marching in front of them. "So these, yall freaks shall be your freak buddys, cabin mates, enemies, friends and whatever else teens these days care about." Chef grumbled.

"This seems...lame." Saun Hee looked disinterested.

"Hey," Zach intercepted, "It won't be that bad. At least you don't have to bunk with him." Zach pointed to Bert.

"True, true."

"The confessional is over yonder. Go find it fo yourself!" Chef yelled, "Now if I call your name stand here and no lippy teenage mush talk."

"Aaron."

"Yipee." Aaron begrudingly walked towards Chef.

"Darcy."

"Finally!" Darcy quickly strode to Chef, beating Aaron to Chef.

"Dementia? What kinda whacky name is that?" Chef commented.

Dementia did not reply, she didn't speak as she walked to Chef.

"Creepy." Aaron noted, Dementia huffed.

"Edwin."

Edwin strode over, limping. "Hey again." He waved to Darcy, Darcy crossed her arms and sighed.

"HI." She mumbled in distaste.

"Mina."

"Oh my gosh! Yes, hi team!" Mina grinned, Darcy rolled her eyes. "What? What?!" Mina was confused.

"J.P."

J.P strode over to the team, constantly looking down at the ground. Edwin tapped him on the shoulder, "It's okay, dude. They are probably going to serve us here. I'll wash up." He announced to his team.

"Well, one thing he can do with haste, then." Darcy remarked.

"I know!" Mina agreed, "But that was rather mean, you know? So anyone here like fashion? So uhm, deadmentia..." Mina turned to Dementia.

"Hiii." Dementia's voice was full of boredom, "It's Dementia...but whatever...I don't..really care."

"Ennui." J.P spoke in French, barely audible.

"Can't blame you." Aaron mumbled.

"Shut your traps!" Chef bellowed, silencing them. "And welcome Lillie." Lillie strode, waving.

"Anybody else ready to get this show on the road? I know I am!" Lillie was clearly energetic but no one seemingly replicated this. "Okay...then."

"Oooh, we've got some dangerous person here." Aaron pointed to a tree with Lillie's name on it, surrounded by skulls.

"Hey, what? Ain't nothing wrong with makin' sure people remember you? Right?" Lillie was desperate for someone to converse.

"Molly, go stand with those buncha losers!" Chef told her, looking around for Molly, as did the team.

Molly walked to them from behind, her eyes closed as she waved her hands around. "I see," She spooked everyone with her sudden presence, "Good things for this team..."

"Creepy."

"But," Molly cocked her head to the side, "Don't we all love creepy things? Like a crushed spider? Or blood." Molly blinked as if she was not getting reactions that signalled disgust. "Smash. Someone shall be leaving tonight. Luckily, if the future holds righteousness for us, we might not have to send someone home."

"We do not have time for your...fake fortunes." Darcy told Molly, who only laughed in her face. "Well, I see someone isn't going to get along with me."

"A'ight so APPARENTLY," Chef seethed, "We need to hurry this up. So, Robert, Saun-Hee and Victor!"

"Uhm, don't shove me into that!" Saun Hee demanded, Roberto stared at her and she let out a sheepish smile. "Now turn." She told him slowly and he did so.

"Now, you're team is...The Screaming Gophers!" Chef threw the flag and Lillie caught it,

it showed a green gopher standing upright with its fists drawn out mounted on a pale yellow circle with a green ring around it.

"Nice!" Lillie grinned.

"Move to the left." Molly told her, Lillie did, albeit with a confused look. Almost instantly, Chris ran past her, dashing towards Chef, he grinned at the camera.

"Pretty boy always gettin-" Chef grumbled, only to be shoved off screen and muted as a result.

"And I am back. Clearly you all missed me! Since Chef took so long, now I have to hurry up. The rest of you, you are the Killer Bass!" Chris threw the flag and Bert caught it, hopping up and down because so. The flag showed an angry-looking bass surrounded by a red circle.

"So, since the cabins are girl-boy, I get to..." Bert grinned, "Do stuff like...uhm..." His sentence hit a pause.

"Nope!" Chris insisted, looking at the camera nervously. "It's boy-boy and girl-girl! Gopher's boys and girls have seperate cabins as do Bass girls and boys. I shall call you to the Mess Hall in 10."

* * *

 **Bass Girls Cabin**

 **Inhabitants: Candi, Crystal, Nancy, Nightshade and Hallie.**

"Oooh, so exciting! Anyone wanna bunk?!" Nightshade's permanent grin still didn't seize. "Anyone?"

"Oooh, totally me! Yay! BUNK BUDDIES!" Crystal's loud voice had everyone else struggling to get a word in. "TOP! I GET TOP?!" She squealed.

"Aw," Nightshade snapped, "I wanted top! But alas, bottomsies! Now if it breaks I'll roll out easily!" She cheered.

"Okay I get top on my bunk, hmm? Hallie! Bunk with me!" Hallie looked taken aback at Nancy's tone.

"Uhm. I AM the best, clearly, so I would get top. Good?" Hallie climbed up to the top, and Nancy shook her head.

"Candy then? Bunk with me!" Her demanding tone caused Candy to roll her eyes, "Okay, then! I'll get a bunk on my own, I don't really need someones digusting habits to be my business anyway."

"Anyone got a pen? I wanna write my name on the wall near my bunk!" Crystal handed her a pen and she scribbled her name down. "Thanks, Crystal. Anyway, so," Candi put the pen in her pocket as opposed to returning it. Her eyes were glued to Nancy walking out of the cabin.

Nightshade shut it behind her slowly, she faced no objection from Nancy.

"So, what do you think of Nancy?" Candi shuddered at the mere mention, "I mean she is just so bossy and annoying! Hey, kinda like you! But, just toned up more? I mean what drives someone to being like that?"

Hallie shrugged, "I respect her because she is kind of like me just less...uhm awesome? But hey Candi, friends?" Candi nodded, grinning from ear to ear, missing the sly glint in Hallie's eye.

Nancy's ear had been placed against the cabin door. She sniffed, tears forming in her eyes. "They..just don't get it!" She growled, the tears disappearing quickly. "Lucky them..." She was furious. "But," Nancy slapped herself, "I cannot show weakness." She murmered and then she turned, plastered on a grin and stepped in.

* * *

 **Bass Boys Cabin**

 **Inhabitants: Bert, Clayton, Felix, Jett, Jose and Zach**

"Zach and Felix you two can bunk together." Jose told them, "Bert and Jett, you two can. That leaves me and Clayton."

"It's Clay, actually."

"Okay, Clay..." Jose grinned, "Ton." This caused Clayton to glare at him, "Now I get bottom because, duh."

Felix sat on his bunk (the bottom one) and gasped loudly, clutching the dark green duvet, as he shuddered in fear. "Ghost?" A twig was heard being snapped, "What was that?" He turned sharply.

"Whatever is the matter, comrade?" Jose asked hearing nothing. He then laughed, "As if I care. Alliances anyone? Oh wait, I just remembered I am on a team with a bunch of-" Jose was then sneezed on by Clayton. "Eugh!" He ran out of the cabin, disgusted, taking the camera with him after much fighting with the camera man.

"ALL CAMPERS TO THE MESS HALL. I REPEAT ALL CAMPERS TO THE MESS HALL. ANY ONE WHO DOES NOT TURN UP FACES PUNISHMENT." Chris' voice was heard over the intercom, and everyone in the cabin walked out, with exception of a shaking Felix.

"C'mon," Zach coaxed, "One time, when I was a delivering a pizza because of my stupid boss! Oh...sorry for raising my voice, but yeah one time I saw some figure and guess what? It was an axe murderer! And it came after me all because I ignored it!" Zach then saw Felix rush out of the cabin. "Oops. Well, that is one way to get him out of the cabin. "Hey, wait up!" Zach was on his trail.

Felix turned, he was relieved upon seeing it was Zach, as they walked past the Bass' Girls cabin, he purposefully stepped on a twig.

Felix gasped, and checked behind the empty cabin, Zach smirked. "Does that seem execrable?" Zach shrugged.

Felix gasped, and stopped once he saw Nancy's upset face. "Go away!" Nancy squawked, "There's a thing called priv-" Nancy stopped, "H-how long were you standi-Oh you know what! Move, I don't need to talk to you and I am gonna run to the Mess Hall and be one of the first there, maybe there'll be a prize." Nancy ran off so quickly that she zipped past Felix and awoke him from his short slumber.

Felix blinked from behind his shades, "Well, there goes my relaxing nap. I don't need to run to the Mess Hall, try hard alert." Felix strode to the Mess Hall, taking his time.

* * *

"Now that you are FINALLY all here. This the Mess Hall, you'll recieve your meals here, from Chef. Sit and eat. Teams sit TOGETHER," Upon seeing Nightshade clutch Dementia who looked entirely bored.

Nightshade sighed, yet still smiled. "Eh, not like she was gonna be much use talking wise, maybe you could've painted my nails? Not midnight blue that is for posers midnight vein!" Nightshade told Dementia, rather coldly, though unintentional as they both lined up together.

Nancy sat down at the desk, Crystal also did. "Why aren't you eatin'?" Crystal asked, "I mean the food looks nasty. I mean I think you heard my meltdown but, seriously, ewzers. It should be illegal to serve that mush."

Zach nodded as he sat down with a tray, "We can order pizza?" A knife was thrown at Zach's head, narrowly missing. Zach looked around and saw Chef squinting and glaring at him as he slowly moved back.

"Lady," Jose purred, sitting next to Nancy. Nancy groaned, Crystal blushed and slowly sat on Jose's lap. "Senorita," Jose blushed on command, "Not here." Jose winked, Crystal laughed, Jose easily lifted Crystal off his lap.

Nightshade sat down, staring at Dementia. "You know, I do worry about her. Like she's so...distant. She's always been like that, sometimes I wish I could go inside her head, hey kinda like the movie Die Head 1, 2 and 3!"

Molly appeared from behind Nightshade, "That movie had cut the victims head off, digested it to make sure it was easier to do something to do it and spat it out, and then cut it in half. Easily, might I add." Molly grinned, "The movie was a delight." Nightshade turned, ready to have a conversation, but Molly had already sat down on opposite ends.

"Hey, best friends!" Jett's voice was heard, sparking majority of the table sans Nightshade to groan.

* * *

Meanwhile, on the other table, Darcy was annoyed. "I just got served and it's this _der'mo_!" She slammed her fists on the table, "Anyway so too lead the team I have several strategies I have already assessed you guys. Tier 1: Me, Hallie, Saun-Hee and Lillie, I uh, suppose. Tier 2: Dementia, Molly, Victor, Aaron. Tier 3: Edwin, Roberto and J.P."

"Why do YOU get to lead this team? I mean I agree with you, but uhm. Of course, why?" Saun Hee awaited an answer, looking smug, with Hallie nodding in agreement in the background.

"And with questions like these, this is why you are in tier 1 and in tier 1 we ALL lead." Darcy lied.

"You said I?" Lillie recalled.

"Pertinent observation, Lillie."

"Campers, meet me at the cliff tops for your first challenge and in your swim wear as well." Chris told them.

"Cliff tops?" Repeated Victor.

"That doesn't sound good. Is it good?" Asked Roberto.

"It is very...very..bad." Molly replied.

Aaron chuckled, "Yeah 'cause the crazy chick is ALWAYS right."

* * *

All contestants stood together, looking at the cliff and the dive below them.

"We don't have to DIVE off of that, do we?" Crystal then began to sob, "OH WHY?! I NEED TO LIVE! I. NEED TO. LIVE!" She yelled at the top of her lungs.

"When you loose your voice. I will laugh!" Hallie told Crystal.

"What?! Rude!" Crystal sneered.

"Oh **BLEEP** one of the crazy chicks is right." Aaron gasped.

* * *

 **AN** : Now for this the friend who roped me into this has made a wiki if you want to see what the characters look like (Tddonniesway is the wiki) and this is a collab with Izzynoah12 (ideas/input/will be writing), and DerpyandDawn (45% of writing this time and the idea), you guys know who you are. Anyway, this was our opening chapter which took about actually not that long. A large chunk was written by me.

I hope you liked our 22 campers, who are your favourites? Who do you THINK is going first? Will it be shocking or not? Who knows? I do! Haw, and you don't. Now this fic will be updated regularly because uhm holidays! Whoo and plus its a collab so less writing for me. Hope you liked and get ready for the next chapter!


	2. Not So Happy Campers P2

**Outwit Island**

 **Disclaimer: Total Drama is not owned by me. I used Russian words in this chapter, so I apologize if they are not translated correctly. I used an online translator so blame them if the words are wrong, and the characters nor I meant to get the words wrong, of course Darcy herself would be fuming at herself and me.**

* * *

 **1.** **2** **Not So Happy Campers Pt.** **2**

"Last time on Total Drama Island! We got introduced to 22 whacky campers, and they were faced with there first challenge." Flashbacks were shown introducing campers, them being put into teams and then the prospect of them above the cliff. "Who will first off, find out this time on Outwit: Island!"

Dear Mom and Dad I'm doin' fine,

You guys are on my mind.

You asked me what I wanted to be

And now I think the answer is plain to see,

I wanna be… famous!

I wanna live close to the sun,

Go pack your bags, 'cause I've already won,

Everything to prove, nothing in my way

I'll get there one day.

Cause I wanna be… famous!

Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na!

I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous!

I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous!

*whistling*

—

"So, this challenge is three fold. Jump into the small safe zone or you'll have to face sharks, then pull crates back to the camp ground, which have hotub parts in them, which you can keep if you win. Gophers, you are up." Chris held a clipboard, he grinned eagerly.

"What about if you don't want too jump?" Asked Bert, Chris frowned and shook his head, instilling more fear.

"If you don't want to jump, take the elevator down and wear a chicken hat but your team will not earn a point." This made relief fly through peoples faces, Chris then clapped his hands. "So, start!"

"But we only have like 5% chance of surviving because of the depth of the water, the air, the wind the, uhm...smart stuff like that!" Hallie's coverup caused a few eyebrows to be furrowed. "What?!" She snapped, her glare engraved until all other stares dispersed, content with the result a smile formed as her arms crossed.

* * *

 **Confessional**

 **Hallie** : Like, what? Math + Shopping= Better deals! (Hallie frowned) Okay, so I am a Mathematics protigy! Not like anyone else is going to know, pfft. Shush!

 **End**

* * *

Lillie looked at her team, and sighed. "Eh, what the heck?!" Lillie ran off and jumped, her eyes closed with her arms flailing around, water engulfed her as she landed, before surfacing in the safe point. "C'mon! Water's fine!" Lillie's gesturing did not calm the arising concerns.

Everyone stood, no one moving before Dementia, with her eyes feasible in terms of having life in them, stared at them. Dementia's feet stepped off the edge, Nightshade gasped. "Demmie!" She cried, "Whoo! Go, Dem!" Conversly, her tone changed as her team eyed her.

Dementia's fall concluded with a feeble splash forcing her to whip her hair. She turned and a shark swam towards her. Dementia put her hand out, the shark continued stopping to contemplate its actions. It enclosed its eyes, opening its mouth to showcase the consistent white sharp teeth.

Dementia then curled up her fists and hurled them violently at the shark, she hopped onto the shark and it slowly brought her to shore. Glancing up, she saw everyone cheering, whether they were on the opposite team did not matter to them, as many were. "I don't ca-a-re. It was nothing." She still had retained the same bored tone and expression throughout.

"As awesome as that was...no point. She didn't land in the safe zone."

"Who's jumping next?" Asked Roberto, "Not me! NOT ME!" Roberto cried, clutching his hair. "I just CAN'T JUMP! I CANN-" Saun Hee muffled his voice, as a defiant death glare was collectively sent his way as he had a chicken hat placed on him.

"Bwak!" Chris clucked, the opposite team doing the same, causing Roberto to dart down the escalator.

"Uhm...I can't jump either." Edwin stepped out, his doubt high. "Just chicken hat me. I feel-" Edwin struggled to withold his vomit inside, "So," Chris slammed a chicken hat on him, and he walked down the elevator. "See you later team, hope you do the challenge!" His optimistic cheer caused anger.

"Hypocrite! But uhm, sorry team. My hoops and stuff can't get dirt and things on that. You know?" Saun Hee turned, facing similar onslaughts. "Uhm. 'Kay, you CLEARLY don't." Saun Hee shrugged, "Whatever. Chris, do your thing."

Chris got a chicken hat and hovered it above Saun Hee's head.

"And she calls ME a hypocrite?!" Edwin was shocked.

"What?!" Saun Hee turned, annoyed.

Edwin gasped, "Nothing! Totally nothing!" He cowered.

* * *

 **Confessional**

 **Mina** : So I was watching and I was like I need to do something!

 **Victor** : If she didn't jump, I would be VERY annoyed! Like, even I'M gonna jump!

 **Saun Hee** : I don't want no one judging me! So what I won't jump? Try it yourself!

 **Edwin** : She is a hypocrite, just don't tell her I said that. So much for getting better at taking on confrontation... (Edwin sighed, looking down)

* * *

"Wait!" Mina stopped Chris, "IF I jump, you jump?" Her proposal was met with critical acclaim. Saun Hee's thinking lasted a few more moments, before a nod came out from her. "Alright, lets go Mina, you know girl. I thought you were some prissy little brat but you know you are okay!"

Mina beamed, "Yay!" She clapped her hands together, "I thought you were some cool girl who just was...well...really good at picking an outfit!" Mina and Saun Hee jumped, both happening to land in the safe zone.

"Animals live in the water, nature is in the water, and I get a chance to show off my morals." Victor pointed to his gory shirt, depicting mass violence happening to people who harmed animals.

"Wow. Awesome." Molly's eyes were transfixed on Victor, "What a very interesting shirt..." Molly let out a small giggle. Victor blushed, he slowly let Molly move out of the way, before he sprinted off the cliff landing in the safe zone.

"Ugh. Do you guys think we gave time to loose? Move, move, move!" Darcy shoved Molly, J.P and Aaron off with a large amount of strength. " _Ne umeret', suk! Dorogu koroleve!_ " Darcy then jumped herself, surprisingly all expertly landed in the safe zone, with exception of J.P.

"7 points!" Chris tallied up, "Bass! Let's see if you can take as long as the Gophers and maybe actually beat them! Where's my coffee?!" He groaned.

* * *

"Like, I call dibs on last!" Candi blurted out, "Wha-what are you-NO!" Candi squealed as Jose threw her off the cliff. "Like just because your ho-o-" Candi let out an ear piercing scream, causing everyone to cringe, she managed to land in the safe zone but noticably only just.

"Oi, Crystal!" Jose called, his back to the team at the edge of the cliff top. "If you want this," Jose gave his butt a wriggle, causing either a blush or a groan, "R-r-run for it." He rolled his R's, causing Crystal to cheer.

"HE WANTS ME?!" Crystal sighed, "Not you. Not you. Not any of you! ME! YAY YAY!" She was so hyper that, Jose did not have time to divert from the position he was in and they both slammed into each-other and fell, she clutched onto him, feeling washboard abs, Jose slapped her hands, "Oh, you want mo-" Crystal and Jose were suddenly drenched with water. "WE SURVIVED?!" Crystal cried tears of happiness.

"Ew, uhm. Loserboy?" Hallie waved her hand in Bert's face, "Can you like jump and breath at the same time, it is experimental probability so it is possible, and it will give us a higher advantage in like numbers." Bert opened his mouth, "Don't know what it means?" Hallie interrupted, shaking her head. "Just jump."

"Uhm but-"

"If we don't win, it could be on you!" Nancy and Hallie snapped, at the exact same time. They smiled at each-other as Bert's whimpering was unaudible due to his jump. "OH. COME ON!" Nancy sighed.

"He didn't land in the safe zone?! Ugh! It's a simple ma-" Hallie paused, "Lemme show you how to do it." Hallie stood her back to the cliff causing gasps. She stepped off slowly and slammed slightly into the rocks poking out. However, her determination still remained high as she hovered further away from near the cliff and closer to the safe zone, before landing with precise accuracy.

Nancy was next to jump, her jump was quick and thus, Nancy was within the boundaries of sharks quick. "Wai," The realization dawned on her, "I didn't? I didn't do it?! I f-f-failed?" Nancy's voice cracked, she sighed, "ARGH!" Nancy suddenly swam away, quickening her pace when she saw fins appear behind her.

Jett, Felix and Zach jumped next, without any complaining, they all did it together, causing Hallie below them to scream. "WHY AT THE SAME TIME?!" They created a large splash and caused Hallie to float underwater, before she swam up when they moved. She panted. "Woah!"

"8-7! The Bass win!" Chris announced with a megaphone, the Bass cheered, "The first part. Now, all team members get to the beach, your next part is too carry the crates to the island, in anyway possible! As long as you get them all!"

* * *

The Gophers were quickly at the beach. "Quick! Hide one or two labelled Bass!" Darcy squawked, "Quick! Quick! Quick!" She roared. Mainly, Victor, J.P and Lillie disposed of the Bass' boxes in some bushes slightly far away, they then returned.

Jett was the first of his team to reach the beach, he hid, watching there every move. "Hmm..." He smiled, "How weird..." He implied as if he knew something, he quickly got out of hiding as his team joined him.

"Hey, best friend!" Jett's hands clutched Felix's shoulder, "Since I uhm told...Zach to help you earlier, I am gonna need a favor." Felix looked confused, "Pretend to go take a leak and go searching for boxes." Felix nodded.

"Guys, I need the toilet!" Felix cried, suddenly wriggling. "AHH! GHOSTS!" His eyes widened and he suddenly darted off, soon not in sight. Jett nodded in approval, surprised however.

* * *

"Ugh. Like my hands hurt too much can I do this next week?" Candi asked, Aaron rolled his eyes. "Why are YOU rolling your eyes? You aren't even on my team, so you don't get too speak!" Candi laughed haughtily.

"Wrong." Aaron glared at Candi, "You may be hot." Candi blushed, "And I may not be bad myself," Aaron didn't seem too bothered when Candi also nodded, "But personality matters. And yours is...oh...where?" He mocked, looking around trying to find it. "Nowhere."

Candi gasped. "I have LOADS of personality!"

"Yeah. Pity it isn't good."

* * *

"Alright Gophers!" Darcy was clearly taking charge, "We CANNOT loose, so our strongest members need to carry as much boxes as they can AND run! Victor, Saun Hee, Lillie and J.P go grab a box from Edwin, Roberto, Molly or Dementia and go!"

They did so and ran ahead.

"Edwin, Roberto, Molly and Dementia," Darcy lowered her voice, "Distract them. Mina, watch them. Incase they get a little off track." Mina nodded, "I can surely carry your bo-" Darcy failed at carrying two boxes. "Keep your hands on it." She wheezed, feebly throwing it on the floor forcing Mina to scoop it up.

Aaron looked around as Candi kicked him slyly, "You suck." She mouthed to him, "La! La!" She plugged her ears shut. "Now can we please proceed quickly, I hate that guy, ugh! He is SO aggravating!"

"What do I do?" Aaron asked.

"Patrol ahead, in the middle of both with me." Darcy commanded, Aaron sighed and nodded, Darcy stopped and glared, "No attitude! Oy!" Darcy muttered something Russian, which was incomprehensible to Aaron.

* * *

"You should face doubt over winning." Molly's eye twitched, "I commanded this. The merge shall be a joyous event and who shall be here to witness it?" She slapped Hallie in the face, and got out her lipstick. "Do not. Try and pass me." Molly suddenly sweared lipstick all over her face while she spoke. "Imagine this to a river of blood, a river of blood to your loss." Molly blinked and she stepped back, and her and Dementia shared a high five.

"Uhm. I am, uh, squeamish!"

"I don't ca-a-r-r-r-e-e." Dementia then yawned and let out a cough, following by a sneeze.

"Bu-"

"I don't ca-a-a-r-r-e."

"Sister!" Nightshade cried, before hugging her, this silenced Dementia. "We get that you do not care! But alas, let us pass, please." She begged, "Otherwise...you won't see my smiles! Like, ugh! You are so, blue, aren't you?" Nightshade slowly nodded, clutching her sisters shoulders.

"Okay." Dementia did not even blink.

"EUGH! LET. US. PASS. LET US. PASS!" Crystal cried, sobbing loudly and melodramatically on the floor.

"No!" Mina snapped.

"Yes!" Hallie growled.

"Clayton to the rescue!" Clayton rushed ahead, "Now!" Clayton was shoved aside by Zach, "Ow!"

"Sorry!" Zach apologized, "Now let us pass! Otherwise, you shall get more of the pizza smell." Molly laughed, shaking her head and Zach frowned, Jose shoved Zach (in vein to the way Zach did before, only more harshly) and stepped forward.

"Senoritas," Jose slinked around them, craddling them, holding them, throwing them and then catching them.

"Hey!" Edwin took offence.

"We're men!"

"Move, outta the way, boys." Candi shoved them aside, and Mina gasped, frozen on the spot as Candi and the team began to walk past.

"WAIT!" Mina gasped, "Where's Felix?!" Everyone gasped and looked around, very befuddled. "Oh yes!"

* * *

"So, I like Darcy and all that, but what's gonna happen if we loose this bit?" Saun Hee pondered, "Ugh, carrying these boxes is hard work!"

"I know!" Lillie grunted as she lifted the two up further. "Totally hard." She sighed. Saun Hee stopped, forcing Lillie too also.

"Was that sarcasm?"

"No."

"Hmm. Okay."

J.P sat down on the beach, and Lillie and Saun Hee turned. "Hmm?" Saun Hee laughed, "Glitter? Wait...? We're he-" Saun Hee turned, "We're here! We're missing boxes from Mina, Darcy and Aaron, so we shall open them."

"Not with your hands!" Chris was on campgrounds and had heard them, albeit from a distance away.

* * *

Darcy groaned, as she turned to Aaron. "You're sarcastic quips are not needed, let us run!" Aaron shook his head. "You pesky boy! You get no right to say no to whatever I say!" Aaron grimaced. "You are just lucky its not bad! Now since I am likeable when I win, or uh, get 2nd, at best, I will not share any with you."

"Hopefully you'll be voted off first time we loose."

Darcy turned to Aaron, a death glare on her face. "Do you want a _poshchechina_ or a slap as you would so rightfully deserve to have?!" Darcy did a death motion, slicing her finger across her neck.

"Gee, so scary." Aaron was not intimidated.

"Ugh! You are-" Darcy turned to face Aaron, her hands almost hitting Aaron in the face, narrowly missing they instead hit his shoulder. He clutched it, pulling his sleeve revealing a bruise. He cast a disproving look Darcy's way.

"Really violent, aren't you? Unprovoked as well." Aaron had a smirk forming on his face, as Darcy muttered curse words, she suddenly grabbed Aaron.

"WE'RE RUNNING! NO PLAY TIME NOW!"

"I bet."

* * *

"Let's go." Mina whispered, "Fastest runner here?" Molly stuck her hand up, and Mina handed her the crate. "Go." She nudged Molly, and Molly ran off, with the rest trailing behind as she was soon in the distance.

"Umm, guys!" Jett motioned to the other team walking off.

"Oh, no!" Clayton cried. "Clay to the-" Jose silenced him. "Can I switch cabin mates?"

"Jealously. You DISGUST me." Jose spat beside Clayton.

"Can we just PUH-lease go?!" Hallie shrieked, "I bet I can catch up to that rookie! Pass most of the boxes!" She was passed a hefty amount of boxes, only leaving 3 to other people. Hallie zipped off, passing the other team.

Molly's eyes widened as she saw Hallie catching up, her foot stuck out and this caused Hallie to trip and bang her head on a box. "Uh, NO!" Hallie hopped up, gripping the boxes as she tried to shove Molly over.

"How futile."

Aaron and Darcy saw this from ahead, Molly rushed to them. "My hands have held knives, which cause blood," She pointed to the lipstick on her face, Darcy scoffed. "So, holding boxes is much less hazardous and so alas me stabbing someone would not happen. Pass the boxes, if you can."

Darcy almost shoved the box onto Molly, as she did with Aaron's. "Now go!" She cheered, faking happiness. "Freak! Ugh!" She showed her supercillious side.

Hallie shoved them to the side and she tackled Molly, Darcy kicked Hallie, and scooped up the boxes, running slowly. Hallie laughed, "Weak!" Darcy heard this and this strengthened her resolve, but her running did not improve. "I can so catch up to that."

"Well...not now. Victory for us is assured." Her calm tone and iron grip caused Hallie to whimper before glaring. "Now, isn't math...fun?" Hallie gasped and screamed. Molly blinked, blissfully unaware and oblivious.

* * *

The Bass began running and panting, but no Gophers were in sight. "Hey, fizz! Why are you so bad?" Bert critiqued, "Ugh! The circles are SO here, aren't they?" The team sighed, some face-palming. "The Bert-ster is pretty awesome-sauce make way fo-" He suddenly slammed into the person ahead, creating a domino effect causing them and the boxes all too fall.

Bert laughed. "Clumsy. 'Ey Felix!"

"FELIX?!" Nancy shrieked, "Talk about finally!"

"Oh the finale? Yeah I am getting there! Heh! With none of you, expect maybe that hot chick!"

"That hot chick? Okay, so many things wrong with that. I am just going to ignore that." Nancy then turned her attention to Felix, who was conversing with Jett. "And where WERE YOU?"

Felix sighed, "I had to investigate!" He insisted, "Ghosts could've been around! I got lost and the-"

"And then nothing!"

"I found this!" Felix unveiled another box. "Maybe the other team hid it? I was taking some cool steps by the river to express myself and relax and just chill for a few moments and then I stumbled upon this box, and I thought-" Nancy gasped, her expression quickly turned sour.

"The other team? Crafty...we need to run! Now!"

And the team did.

* * *

 **Confessional**

 **Nancy:** We suck! We SUCK! I HAVE better aspirations and no team is taking ME down!

 **Candi:** Like, I hate sucking! Look at these totally not crocodile tears which are forming!

* * *

The Gophers, all together, plus a rabid Hallie, were anxiously stood looking at the stack of crates. "How do we open this?"

"OPEN! OPEN! OPEN!" It seemed Hallie had already opened two crates, upon noticing the stares. She grinned, prideful as she straightened up. "You can't copy my strategy, honestly," She flipped her brown hair, "Can't blame you for wanting to, you know? Hope you feel good LOOSING!"

"THERE SHALL BE NO LOOSING!" Darcy raised her voice and clutched her hair at the mere mention.

* * *

 **Confessional** :

 **Darcy** : NO LOOSING SHALL OCCUR!

 **Jett** : I wonder if the team is mad at Felix!

 **Felix** : I rock! I found a box and a ghost! YEAH I SEE YOU!

 **Bert** : Heh, can I just hang here?

 **Crystal** : EW, WHY IS THERE A BUG? STOP STARING AT ME! (Crystal curls up into a ball).

END

* * *

The Bass finally made it, tired and exhausted. "No opening the creates with your hands." Chris taunted. The Bass seemingly sighed in time together. Then then gasped and huddled together.

"Mmhmm."

"Yeah!"

"We can win this!"

The Gophers looked smug, "Ahem. Bass." Chris waved his hands in their faces, "The Gophers have already won the 2nd part!" Motioning to their boxes open, the Bass' face fell. "How sad. Well, it's tied, maybe you can win the last part."

* * *

As the Bass kicked their boxes open, "Hmm, so, is anyone good at constructing things?" Darcy wondered, "Because we cannot loose this!"

"Okay, I DID my sports things and opened a few boxes. Now someone ELSE, do something," Hallie yawned, she merely sat on the ground. "I'll watch, if anyone needs any help. Tell me."

"You can't do tha-" Nancy was shushed by Hallie, "Whatever,"

"Ladies, ladies, and man ladies." Jose pursed his lips, "Since are all SO nicely blocking my camera time, go stand over there. I'LL help." Jose leant over, grabbing a box, Hallie muttered obscenities. "Ugh! Do you ever wash out your mouth? The rudeness!" Jose put his head, deliberately stepping on Hallie's knee as he strode past, he shoved Bert into Hallie.

"Sup, big cheeks with the cheese!" Bert laughed, and nobody else replicated this action. Hallie smacked him, and he groaned. "You are just jealous!" He sighed, "All of you!" He muttered to himself.

"So, uhm-" Felix started.

"You were missing for MOST of the challenge!" Chided Candi, "Do not let me force Crystal to show you bad it was." Candi cast a look at Crystal, and nodded. Felix cowered, he slowly stepped back.

"Sorry, dudes and girls, BUT I found a box!" He argued, his face paled. "Among other things."

"Yes, dude! A BOX!" Bert hopped up, "Hover it towards me, man." Crystal shoved Bert and destroyed the chance of a fist bump being exchanged by the two.

"YOU WERE MISSING!" Crystal started, already raising her voice quite high. "FOR. SO. LONG! DO YOU KNOW HOW BAD IT WAS?!" Crystal yelled, Felix bowed his head in shame. "And," Crystal also bowed, happiness radiated off of her. "Scene! Wow, I am SUCH an actor! Ooh, I should try it more often?"

"So, what about the rest of today? Earlier?" Bert recalled.

Crystal shook her head, "I don't recall any acting."

"Oh my gosh, that's actually her? I am gonna go cry." Hallie groaned. "So, how much have we built?" Hallie was curious, she got up and checked. "Wow, pretty much all of you sans Bert, Felix, Crystal and duh, me have built a lot! So, where are our last 2 pieces? We're missing the side and that other bit, the uhm..." Hallie faltered, "I dunno what it's called! Stop staring at me!"

"You guys!" Jett gasped, "You hid more boxes? Come on, uhm, Bert and Crystal," Jett winked at the team, "Let us find the other boxes."

"Life saver." Candi muttered as Crystal, Jett and Bert rushed off.

* * *

"Hey, look!" Mina gasped, "We're done!" She squealed, "We just need to fill it with some water!" The Bass groaned, "Okay, uhm, Roberto let us go get water?" Roberto shook his head, "Edwin?" Edwin nodded, passing Roberto giving him a confused look. "Saun Hee as well!"

"Mina, is this abo-woah! Got some grip!"

The Bass glared at the Gophers, and vice versa. "We are just naturally the better team." Darcy commended themselves. "No!" Darcy cried, "None of you touch this work of art!" They all groaned.

"Strict, much?" Hallie commented, "They can't even touch it." Hallie laughed.

"If we loose, who are we voting out? Who are we-" Nancy shut her eyes, "Don't get stressed." She reminded herself.

* * *

"So, Bert, I'll help you like a best friend rightly would." Bert's eyes lit up at Jett's words, he nodded. "Yes, I did say best friend?" Crystal gasped, she slinked in between the two. Bert then slapped Crystals hand lightly. "Uhm, okay..." Jett stepped away, noting their childike fighting.

"Uhm. You don't get no friends! I do!" Crystal told Bert.

"Why?"

"Because actors need friends!"

"You don't even act!"

Crystal gasped, and looked heart broken. "Well, I DO!" She stormed off, her fists clenched. "You'll see me with the others! Lucky I don't tell them about this mishap!" Bert looked down, he rushed after Crystal.

"I'll help!" Jett insisted, racing after the duo. "I wouldn't want you messing things up!" Bert sighed, "Again..." Jett added, before rushing after Crystal. "I will be back to help, you know?" He assured Bert, who began kicking around stones with a saddened expression witheld on his face, Crystal growled as she turned.

"Oh. It's you." Her hardened face went through the transitional process of softening, "How DARE he say," Crystal flipped her hair, "THAT I, do not act?! Is he like blind Bert?!" Crystal was seething she stomped on a plant as she continued walking. "Anyway, I don't need you to do your biddin' for me!"

"If you forgive him, Jose will see your sensitive side."

Crystal paused. "Aw, who cares?! I need to keep my options open for when someone hotter, muscular..er and better, comes along!" Jett frowned, "And trust me, I am sure there...is someone." The flicker of doubt was what Jett preyed on.

"Are you, though?"

* * *

"So, uhm? Are we sure there is a river?" Mina wondered,"We've been wondering around forever and like..."

Saun Hee sighed, "Look in FRONT of you. The dock!" Mina clapped her hands, "Now which one of you got buckets?" Mina and Edwin glanced sheepishly at another, "NONE of you? Okay, we have to go back."

"Sorry," Edwin began to apologize, with Mina echoing the same words behind him. "I just..forgot."

"Heard it all before."

* * *

Jett was with Bert once again, Crystal not in sight. "That lil blondie mad doggie was so peckin' at me." Bert shook his head. Jett's expression was blank, forming into one of a bored one.

"Right, so now that I helped you like a best friend would, isn't it right that you should pay be back?" Bert looked puzzled, "So tedious."

"I don't have any money or any 10 doll dolls."

"Okay." Jett chuckled, "NOT what I meant dude, but its cool, friend." Bert gasped, "What? Oh, you noticed?" Jett grinned.

"We're not best friends anymore?"

"Uhm..."

* * *

 **Confessional** :

 **Jett** \- After hanging with him? Can I really be blamed?

END

* * *

The Killer Bass suddenly sighted Crystal, "Crystal, why aren't you with the others?" Crystal had purple stuff all over her hands, showcased when she used her hands, making them whiz around.

"Because of, uh," Crystal thought back to Jett, "Reasons," She then winked at Jose, "I found berries, but uhm, some bear ate them." Crystal looked down at her top, "In my defence, due to whining from Bert, we weren't looking for boxes!" Crystal blurted out.

Jose looked confused. "Why was I brought into this?" He was rather nervous.

"You know." She wriggled her tongue at him.

"I feel sick!" Candi coughed.

"Wait, so you weren't even helping us with the challenge?! Ugh, you are almost as bad as Felix!"

Felix sighed. "But Jett told me too-"

"What?! Told you to hide for ages, pretending to go to the toilet, when you were looking for boxes and you didn't even find them ALL?!" Nancy summarised.

"Well-"

"Okay, then!"

Felix crossed his arms.

* * *

The Gophers were in a formation, with buckets of water being passed along a line, leading to the hot tub, rather fast, until it was filled.

"Oh great, there is still time to, uh-" Nancy was eager to win.

"No. No sabotage!"

"And it's judging time!" Chris announced, "Gophers! Let us see your tub!" The tub was perfectly constructed, but did have a few holes in it. "Nice build, few holes, wear and tear, slightly overfilled." Chris looked at the water on his shoes due to this, "A bit of tape there, which is tacky, but good."

The Gophers cheered.

Chris turned to the Bass. "Utterly pathetic." He shook his head, "Brah, you sucked. Big time." Jett and Bert slinked into the crowd, without the other Bass members noticing. "Bass, you are going to send someone home. Cast your votes in 10 and meet me at the ceremony."

"Ugh!" Candi pouted.

"Again with that pouty face, did the baby not get the bottle?" Aaron mocked.

Candi turned away.

"Gophers, have a ROCKING. HOT TUB. PARTY!" The Gophers cheered, only rubbing it in.

* * *

All 11 Bass sat in the Mess Hall. "Ahem. Ahem!" Nancy clapped, "I'll deliberate, so who are we voting off?" A splur of suggestions were yelled. "One at a time!" This only seemed to make the Bass louder. "Alright, me first! I suggest...Jett!"

"What?" Jett was shocked, "Why me? I haven't done anything, uhm wrong!" He added after he realized how bad it could sound.

"Exactly, YOU haven't done anything. You sent Felix out on a goose chase did you not?" Jett looked down, "You-well, the, uhm, well that is all you've done wrong! Or at all, I've heard!"

"Because of Bert!" Hallie yawned, "Like uhm, his whining his derogatory, degrading comments are so - ugh." Hallie shuddered.

"But!" Bert objected, "It weren't my fault! Crystal got upset and moaned otherwise we would've found boxes, and then she went off and ate berries and tried to lie to you guys!" This caused people to murmur and nod.

"UHM-" Crystal stood up, "What about Felix?! He didn't have to listen to Jett and we all heard him saying he took his time! He could've come back earlier and told us about the missing boxes!"

"But, Jett didn't either!" Candi contributed.

"We're getting nowhere!" Nancy silenced everyone, "We are just gonna have to vote and see who goes. Whoever does, so be it."

* * *

The Bass sat on the stools at the ceremony. "In the competition, marshmallows represent life," Chris held 10 marshmallows on a purple platter. "Anyone who does not get one is eliminated and can never come back, EVER. And they must board the Boat of Losers at the end of the Dock of Shame and leave. Never to return, EVER." Chris repeated, hammering in the point. Do you all understand?"

"Yep." After Chris knew this was the general consenus, he continued.

"The first marshmallow of the season, the night and ever, goes too...Candi." Candi squealed and got up too collect her marshmallow. "You may roast it, if you feel the need." He informed her.

Everyone else looked nervous. Nancy began to sweat, and her knuckles turn white from so much clenching.

"The next marshmallow goes too...Zach."

Zach got up to collect his marshmallow.

"Nightshade."

"Yay!" She clapped her hands.

"Jose."

"Not a surprise." He grinned.

"Nancy."

Nancy let out a gasp of pure joy and rushed to grab her marshmallow.

"The next marshmallow goes to Clayton."

Clayton got up and grabbed his marshmallow, smiling.

"And Hallie."

Hallie sighed, "Talk about finally!" She breathed a sigh of relief.

"The rest of you, recieved votes from your fellow campers, Bert, Felix, Jett and Crystal. Usually I may reveal the votes, but since this is your first ceremony I shall not. So," Chris held up the next marshmallow, the four mentioned all looked rather nevous. "The next marshmallow goes to..."

Bert rubbed his palms together, looking less confident.

Felix was breathing heavily and looking down.

Jett had his head in his hands.

Crystal, though looking nervous, pointed to herself, longing for the marshmallow.

"Jett."

Jett raced up, "Careful there." Chris looked entirely serious, not smiling or showing any sign of anything other than focus. He handed Jett his marshmallow as he took his place with all of the others declared safe.

"The penultimate marshmallow goes to...Crystal." Crystal then let out a choking sob, as she crawled up, clutching at Chris' knee. She hugged it.

"Thank, y-you." She coughed out, Chris dropped her marshmallow. Crystal caught it and crawled and rocked in a foetal position as she took her place with the others.

Felix and Bert glanced at each-other, shaking their heads. "Not me." Bert mouthed, Felix clutched his face.

"I can't go." Felix pleaded, quietly.

"The final marshmallow goes to...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

Felix."

Felix got up, and grabbed his marshmallow, chomping on it as Bert slumped in his seat. "Why me?" He asked, standing up. "What did I do?"

"Sorry dude," Chris interjected as his team looked down, "But someone had to go, board the Boat of Losers dude."

Bert walked down the Dock of Shame and boarded the Boat of Losers, it drove off, he was heard choking up.

Chris turned to the rest of the team, "The rest of you. You are safe. For now." They all glanced at each-other.

* * *

 **Bass Girls Cabin**

 **Inhabitants** : Candi, Crystal, Hallie, Nancy and Nightshade.

"Okay, so that was the ceremony." Nancy played with the strands her hair, "Intense." The others nodded in agreement.

"Bye bye Bertie, though. Glad he left when he had no friends, but when we all leave, yikes. Well goodnight."

"Wait, I wanna act!" Crystal moaned.

"I have had enough today Crystal, let us just sleep." Hallie told her, "Okay?! No acting like the past 2 days!"

Nightshade nodded, heavily, for once not smiling.

Suddenly a knock on the door was heard, Crystal opened it. Dementia stood with the same expression, Nightshade chuckled and waved but Dementia's expression did not change, "I am still here!" She cheered.

"Okay." Dementia turned and Crystal slammed the door.

"Well, I hoped she at least...crack..a..smile." Nightshade looked at the door, "Why is she like this?"

"No point stressing. Just get some sleep." Encouraged Hallie, "We all have our skeletons." Seeing Hallie and Nancy's faces Nightshade nodded and got into bed, but unbeknownst to them was examining them.

"Sure we have..." She agreed.

* * *

 **Bass Boys Cabin**

 **Inhabitants:** Jose, Clayton, Zach, Jett and Felix

"Dudes, I can't believe I almost left." Felix remained stunned as he laid in his bed.

"Sorry about...today." Jett sighed, "I mean I was just-"

Felix nodded, "I understand, it's all mellow."

"Next time we loose," Jose muttered. "We ALL know who is going to go."

"We do?" Zach repeated, confused.

"Yes." Jose was deathly serious. "We. Do. Ow! A dead donkey does not stub their toe!"

This caused chuckles.

"It's an admirable last name!" Jose tried to silence, his attempts failed.

 **END**

* * *

Votes:

Bert: Felix

Candi: Jett

Clayton: Crystal

Crystal: Bert

Felix: Bert

Hallie: Bert

Jett: Bert

Jose: Felix

Nancy: Felix

Nightshade: Crystal

Zach: Jett

 **Jett** \- 2

 **Crystal** \- 2

 **Felix** \- 3

 **Bert** \- 4

* * *

 **Bert's** Audition

Bert stood in a mansion with a red staircase behind him and a polished. "Hey, hey! Wassup?!" He cheered, "I am Bert! You've got future winner, hey ma bro Chris, lemme on the show and I can give you some bling..." A butler came into the frame, "Oi Charlie!" Bert scolded, "Go clean the floors, please! And make sure mom gets her cocoa!"

"Yes Master Bling."

Bert chuckled, "See, by law he has to call me that! Ain't that right?" Bert then turned, "Okay, switch off of the camera now!" Bert began to scratch his butt, he walked up the stairs and tripped. "Whoops."

Bert then turned again, and a sprinkling of doubt and self pity could be seen in his eyes. "Ha!" He laughed, the moment broken. The camera fizzed into static, and Bert was heard laughing once again.

* * *

"Chris, what about this one?"

Chris sat on a bed inside a cabin, "Ugh. This crummy camp sucks. So glad I stay in my trailer. Ew, is that a fly?" Chris shuddered in disgust. "What's the guy/girl's name?"

"Bert."

Chris grabbed the profile of Bert, "He lives in a mansion, his audition was..." Chris read through it. "Why not." Chris yawned, "He is rich, he promised me money. He's Ezekiel-" Chris' eyes widened, "NO! No!"

"No one wants another Ezekiel, do they?"

"DUH!" Chris said as if it was the most obvious ever. "But he did offer money...and he IS already rich so he won't go crazy...I suppose yes. Watch him. He is SO one of the first five outs!"

* * *

Bert sat on The Boat of Losers, "Why did they eliminate me? Because...this won't get aired, will it?" A shake of the camera meant a resounding no, "Because I were annoying. Okay? I tried to tone it down for the show, but clearly it weren't enough! They were all wrong and they should feel bad eh, because when I am back I will show them that Master Bling can last just as long as some pretty boy or hot chick, you know?"

"We're here boy."

"What, alread-wait, where are we?" Bert gasped, astonished. "Screw all that! I never want to leave this place!" The unseen place continued to be looked by Bert who was star-eyed as he rushed off of the boat.

* * *

 **AN: So again that was the episode, fully written by me! As you can see I amped down my vocab and made my writing style similar to what it usually is on when you read my other stories so it would match with the co writers for the next chapters! Hope you liked it. Who is your favourite? What changed? Did you want Bert to leave?**

 **I did.**


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